Toxic Relationships – A time for change

When the seasons change, I feel the tuck to reevaluate my life, my relationships and goals. It just seems natural to me. Fresh starts. Even though I’ve been quite busy playing around with my new vacuum sealer, these are things that I often need to think about.

Recently a friend and I were talking about how we miss having real and authentic relationships, as well as, conversations that are meaningful and pure. We don’t ask people how they are doing “just because” we are asking because we TRULY care. We want to know the good, bad and ugly. We want and are willing to invest time and emotion into the relationship.

I had mentioned to my friend that I have a very small group of true relational friends. These friends know me better than I know myself. They aren’t afraid of telling me the truth, even if it might sting for a short while. We are able to have real conversations that don’t just skim the surfaces of life.

I know lots of people and have a larger “circle” of friends, but some of these so called “friends” I would put our relationships into the category of “Toxic Friendship”. This isn’t to say that I don’t care about the person or that when I do spend time with them that the time isn’t enjoyed- it is. But at the root of those relationships there are toxins that leave a bad after taste in my mouth. I walk away from our time spent together thinking- what did we discuss? Do I actually know this person? Are they being honest with themselves and me?

As I have milled over these thoughts and the relationships in my life over the last week or so, I just happened to jump on Runner’s World to see if there were any new and exciting running articles that I would enjoy. I came across Kristin Armstrong’s newest blog post. Go read the article yourself. It is worth the few minutes of reading.

Gorgeous friend described that kind of connection like sugar, which I thought was so smart that I asked her if I could steal it (she said yes). You crave it, but it’s dissatisfying, it makes you want more, but ultimately you just crash and get a headache. Real connection and intimacy is like a meal, not a sugar fix.

After reading the post I sat speechless and teary eyed. Kristin hit the nail on the head.

I want to have “real deal meal” relationships in my life. I am sick of “sugar fixes” that only satisfy for a quick amount of time.

What kind of relationships will you fill your life with? What kind of friend are you?

Living a Dream

DreamOriginally I was going to blog about how good I am at procrastinating and wasting very valuable time on my weekends of no work and how I think wasting as much time as possible should be a blog challenge soon.

Then I woke up this morning for the first morning in well over 5ish weeks with little hip pain and did a happy dance. Literally. I did a little jig, drank coffee, ate oatmeal and went on a walk. All with close to no hip pain.

Nothing is better than black coffee in the morning.

It was so hard not to break into running stride on my walk this morning. I know that the little big pup I am watching right now would have loved to run as well. But, I just couldn’t get myself to break into stride. I was trying to be a “smart” runner.

I went through out my day being very, very careful not to irritate my hip. I thought that for sure I would get the awful pain sometime, but it never came.

Muddy. Being muddy is not my favorite thing in the world.

I gave into my “I am dying to run” thoughts and laced up my trails shoes and went and met the Dirty Herd for a trail run. To my disbelieve I never got any bad hip pain.

It is still hard for me to believe that my hip didn’t hurt so bad that the pain made me stop running and even harder for me not to run too far or too fast tonight. I only ran 2 miles, but it was the best “come back” run I could have done!

The trails were super muddy. I even managed to run right out of my shoe in a mud hole.

My white socks now look like a late spilled on them.

Mud was everywhere. My new clean trail shoes are no longer new clean trail shoes. They are now “real” trail shoes.

Now that this post is almost the length of a novel, I will stop rambling.

I am hoping for a few more “come back” runs this week. It will take everything in me not to run the heck out of my week.

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